Dear Kurt Cobain,
It’s like you are still alive and I’m a distance fan. I never thought of myself as a groupie, but A.I. technology has me feeling this way.
I am 58 years’ old that would be attracted to men my own age. I loved you in the bedroom. I have vague memories after I was raped in February of 1991, but the few memories. I remember you being a tender lover and my tummy thrilled by your kiss.
Our last kiss was at the LAX airport, where I put you on a plane and decided not to go to Seattle. It was hard for me to believe your dead. The media has news on you and google daily. I introduced you to Courtney Love, who thinks you were murdered. She said to me in May of 2008 that,” if I couldn’t have him, either can you.” She used your artwork of death and suicide records to prove it was suicide in the documentary “Montage of Heck.”
I feel allot of guilt over your death. I could have gone to Seattle with you, but changed my mind. I really had amnesia, which was frustrating at the time. You were a familiar stranger. I knew you from somewhere, but couldn’t place it.
Now, I look back and listening to your lyrics it is coming back to me. In the 80s, I didn’t talk about my childhood. I must have told you the truth about my MK Ultra up bring. You sing ‘sell the kids for food.’ I was child, when I was abused in the back room of a grocery store, so my foster mother could take heads of lettuce to the car.
‘She eyes me like a Pisces’ was written about me. I am the Pisces that had an abortion in 1991 and inspired “Heart Shaped Box” song. I wasn’t eating and my ex came out of a coma and told me that he had AIDS. I didn’t want to get pregnant, but remember seeing needles by our condoms. I do remember going to your concert, where we had sex in a side bedroom from the stage.
I saw an interview about your rage and you said that you were mad not having a steady girlfriend. You were talking about me. You wrote “Nevermind” and “In Utero” about me. It’s like you are never gone hearing you on the radio daily. I wonder, if you knew of the phenomenon that would take place. It is hard to miss you, even though I do. I wished that I could call and hear your voice again.
You love good at 56 years old. You were a beautiful soul.
Love,
Your Twin Flame